Things I have learned from working with really successful people.

Including: "do not behave like a dick"

Hello! One of the great privileges of achieving some success in your chosen field is that you get to meet other creatives – writers, musicians, actors, directors – who are at the top of theirs. As a child I grew up among visual artists, painters and sculptors due to my parents (both were artists), but it was after the success of Me Before You that I suddenly found myself with access to other kinds of extraordinary people. Once I got over being awestruck, I learned an awful lot just from spending time in their lives, and watching how they operated and so I thought I’d pass on a few of those things in case you find them useful too. It may not apply to you, or your chosen field. It will be scattered with vast generalisations. And yes I’ll be keeping it annoyingly vague in places because I want to retain my friendships.

1. All really successful creative people are obsessive about what they do. And usually have been since childhood.

2. I have never heard a really successful person bitching or obsessing over what someone else is doing. In my experience, they don’t seem to gossip as much as civilians. Perhaps it’s because they know too well how it feels to be the subject of speculative nonsense, and often in the public eye. But I suspect it’s mostly because they are far more focused on what they are creating. They know where to direct their energy.

3. They guard their time. I have lost count of the many people who tell me they would love to write a book but don’t have time. Nobody has time. Time to write, or to paint a magnificent canvas, or compose a great song. Every really successful creative I know has spent the bulk of their time going over and over their craft and trying to improve, often to the detriment of everything else (domestic life, families, wellness). Balance is often something that comes later.

4. Side point: I was once told by someone that during your parenting years you can do only one other thing well and that was incredibly liberating advice. I contracted out everything that I could and spent the time that I wasn’t writing actually being present with my kids, instead of desperately trying to prove that I could also be Nigella in the kitchen, cultivate a vegetable garden or crack nuts with my thigh muscles.