Yes! I have three young children so am always asked how I find time to write, and the answer is that I just do. It's a passion and it nourishes me and so I do it in-between tasks and after bedtime and instead of doing the other leisure stuff I also want to do like reading and getting an extra hour sleep. I think if people say they want to write but don't, they don't actually want to write. I say the same thing about drawing, but I know that if I actually wanted to draw as much as I say I want to draw, I'd be drawing
I know I probably shouldn’t have but I properly laughed out loud at this. So much of it resonated - because at this precise moment, I am sat, unwashed in a coffee shop, just down the high street from my son’s school after getting back from a super early dog walk (that felt good: today is going to be a good day, I thought), only to get home to discover my beloved #costcentre2 had missed his school bus. So I’ve had to drive like the wind to get him here. Only just. My plans for the morning are now blown. I’ve a 45 minute drive home before I even get close to having a shower, getting up properly and getting to my desk….to deal with a list, which minus being an author (I am a lawyer, sorry!) looks very similar to yours. Re fuzz: I suffered laser (almost everywhere) and it has freed up SO much appointment time. I refuse to deal with Chatbots and always demand to speak to a human being. I imagine I’ve been blacklisted on an AI list somewhere as one of those humans they need to eliminate first when they eventually rise up against us and take over….
Yes, just yes. Teenage children, life, shift working husband, admin, elderly mother, dogs, PR & marketing pre-book publication, tortoise, neurodiversities across the board, editing manuscript, medical appointments, work experience, Uni visits, exam revision, friends, sleep, chronic illness… oh and writing! I can #hardrelate. A couple of times a year a take myself to a residential library for a few days to write. That is the only time I get consistent writing. The rest of the time it’s snatched here and there, but I’m doing it. One book down, 4 more in development. One day at a time x
I can relate to so much of this! But I’ve come to realise that the messy, juggle of a working family life is where half my ideas for stories come from. So now I try to accept and embrace it (mostly). I still dream of uninterrupted hours writing though…
Same situation but two young children (6 and 2) and a full time corporate job. I haven't written for 10 years because of said kids and hustling towards a "stable" job to raise a family with since I foolishly married for love which landed me in the threadbare lap of a firefighter. As I creep back into creativity, I find myself only knowing how I used to write novels - completely isolated with a mood- driven playlist with no outside distractions. That's impossible with young children, especially when husband is gone for at least 48 hours at a time each week (and this week he's been gone for 72).
Before summer, I had an arrangement where my husband, when not working, would take kids to jiujitsu class on Saturday mornings and I would get about 2 hours uninterrupted. This gave me 16K words in about three months. Now we are gone every weekend for family time at the lake, which I treasure, but my writing time is non-existent.
My question is - how do you retrain your brain to be able to burst creativity in small 15-45 minute windows throughout the day, building a habit to write something every day? My inner muse has not realized a lot has changed in 10 years and working conditions are not as posh.
I've tried waking early. My body screams at me and my brain is too tired for creativity so I just stare blankly at my page, edit the last few pages I wrote, or I'll clean. I used to be a night owl writer before kids but now I'm exhausted at bed and can't even read (see? Same.)
I love everything about this post, but this is EVERYTHING: "I don’t know any writer whose life isn’t a massive, fragmented juggling act. Maybe if you’re a man? I do find myself muttering: “I need a wife” at regular intervals." I say "I need a wife" all the time! I loved seeing that your juggling act is just a fact, not an excuse. And with that, I'd better get back to writing!
I came here to say the same! I work as a lawyer just like my dad, and he could never understand why I struggled with the long hours back in my law firm days. So one day I said to him my life would certainly be easier if I had a stay-at-home wife like my mum was - someone who made sure the fridge and pantry was stocked, had dinner on the table when he came home, and ran all the errands that needed running etc.
I relate to this so much as a single mom of a neurodivergent preteen. When a handful of subscribers on Substack decided to pay for my content, I made a promise to myself that I would use that money to pay for coffee at my local coffee shop. It's next to a park that has a creek running through it, so on fine days I can take coffee to the park and work on my writing while my son plays near the creek. If I didn't snatch this time for myself to work on my writing, I wouldn't write. Probably about half of my poems that have been published were written while I sat in that park. I don't have anyone to watch my son, or the funds to pay for someone to watch him, and as he is a demanding child this is the miracle that has worked for me. Give this kid running water and stones and he is mesmerized for long enough that I can get work done. What is that saying? Where there is a will, there is a way.
Wow this was brilliant! I especially like the invite to write in the way that works for oneself. So often have I seen rigid schedules How you ”have to” do it, that Never worked for me.
Oh this was just what I needed to read! It resonated so much with those lists. Was feeling frazzled as it’s the summer holidays so it’s like Grand Central station in my house and all my good intentions have melted (mainly into fatigue). The point about using the time to write instead of mindlessly scrolling hit hard.
I suggest you park your guilt and write off the Roman blind. Fiddly, expensive things that nobody wants to repair - we did our best to get ours fixed but ended up going back to good old fashioned curtains - not even a valance! - and it’s such a relief. Took a lot of phone calls to John Lewis, though.
"Half an hour spent trying to save pigeon from a seagull outside lawyer’s office (don’t ask)" is my favourite. Helen Hanff just wrote letters, then they became a radio show, then a book. I really like Substack and this is such a great story. Thank you.
This piece, especially the adult children bit, seems written just for me. Don’t you wish we could (when it’s available)send others a spare minute or two of our day and receive some when needed? It would be like crowdfunding for extra time.
Yes! I have three young children so am always asked how I find time to write, and the answer is that I just do. It's a passion and it nourishes me and so I do it in-between tasks and after bedtime and instead of doing the other leisure stuff I also want to do like reading and getting an extra hour sleep. I think if people say they want to write but don't, they don't actually want to write. I say the same thing about drawing, but I know that if I actually wanted to draw as much as I say I want to draw, I'd be drawing
Hope you get your blinds fixed soon, anyway.
(Also, trainers can wreck your hips???)
I know I probably shouldn’t have but I properly laughed out loud at this. So much of it resonated - because at this precise moment, I am sat, unwashed in a coffee shop, just down the high street from my son’s school after getting back from a super early dog walk (that felt good: today is going to be a good day, I thought), only to get home to discover my beloved #costcentre2 had missed his school bus. So I’ve had to drive like the wind to get him here. Only just. My plans for the morning are now blown. I’ve a 45 minute drive home before I even get close to having a shower, getting up properly and getting to my desk….to deal with a list, which minus being an author (I am a lawyer, sorry!) looks very similar to yours. Re fuzz: I suffered laser (almost everywhere) and it has freed up SO much appointment time. I refuse to deal with Chatbots and always demand to speak to a human being. I imagine I’ve been blacklisted on an AI list somewhere as one of those humans they need to eliminate first when they eventually rise up against us and take over….
Yes, just yes. Teenage children, life, shift working husband, admin, elderly mother, dogs, PR & marketing pre-book publication, tortoise, neurodiversities across the board, editing manuscript, medical appointments, work experience, Uni visits, exam revision, friends, sleep, chronic illness… oh and writing! I can #hardrelate. A couple of times a year a take myself to a residential library for a few days to write. That is the only time I get consistent writing. The rest of the time it’s snatched here and there, but I’m doing it. One book down, 4 more in development. One day at a time x
I can relate to so much of this! But I’ve come to realise that the messy, juggle of a working family life is where half my ideas for stories come from. So now I try to accept and embrace it (mostly). I still dream of uninterrupted hours writing though…
this is very true. Everything is material, as the great Nora Ephron says...
Okay. So.
Same situation but two young children (6 and 2) and a full time corporate job. I haven't written for 10 years because of said kids and hustling towards a "stable" job to raise a family with since I foolishly married for love which landed me in the threadbare lap of a firefighter. As I creep back into creativity, I find myself only knowing how I used to write novels - completely isolated with a mood- driven playlist with no outside distractions. That's impossible with young children, especially when husband is gone for at least 48 hours at a time each week (and this week he's been gone for 72).
Before summer, I had an arrangement where my husband, when not working, would take kids to jiujitsu class on Saturday mornings and I would get about 2 hours uninterrupted. This gave me 16K words in about three months. Now we are gone every weekend for family time at the lake, which I treasure, but my writing time is non-existent.
My question is - how do you retrain your brain to be able to burst creativity in small 15-45 minute windows throughout the day, building a habit to write something every day? My inner muse has not realized a lot has changed in 10 years and working conditions are not as posh.
I've tried waking early. My body screams at me and my brain is too tired for creativity so I just stare blankly at my page, edit the last few pages I wrote, or I'll clean. I used to be a night owl writer before kids but now I'm exhausted at bed and can't even read (see? Same.)
I love everything about this post, but this is EVERYTHING: "I don’t know any writer whose life isn’t a massive, fragmented juggling act. Maybe if you’re a man? I do find myself muttering: “I need a wife” at regular intervals." I say "I need a wife" all the time! I loved seeing that your juggling act is just a fact, not an excuse. And with that, I'd better get back to writing!
I came here to say the same! I work as a lawyer just like my dad, and he could never understand why I struggled with the long hours back in my law firm days. So one day I said to him my life would certainly be easier if I had a stay-at-home wife like my mum was - someone who made sure the fridge and pantry was stocked, had dinner on the table when he came home, and ran all the errands that needed running etc.
Making the time to give a kid a birthday ride home in your mini is a sure sign you've nailed it
I relate to this so much as a single mom of a neurodivergent preteen. When a handful of subscribers on Substack decided to pay for my content, I made a promise to myself that I would use that money to pay for coffee at my local coffee shop. It's next to a park that has a creek running through it, so on fine days I can take coffee to the park and work on my writing while my son plays near the creek. If I didn't snatch this time for myself to work on my writing, I wouldn't write. Probably about half of my poems that have been published were written while I sat in that park. I don't have anyone to watch my son, or the funds to pay for someone to watch him, and as he is a demanding child this is the miracle that has worked for me. Give this kid running water and stones and he is mesmerized for long enough that I can get work done. What is that saying? Where there is a will, there is a way.
Wow this was brilliant! I especially like the invite to write in the way that works for oneself. So often have I seen rigid schedules How you ”have to” do it, that Never worked for me.
Oh this was just what I needed to read! It resonated so much with those lists. Was feeling frazzled as it’s the summer holidays so it’s like Grand Central station in my house and all my good intentions have melted (mainly into fatigue). The point about using the time to write instead of mindlessly scrolling hit hard.
I suggest you park your guilt and write off the Roman blind. Fiddly, expensive things that nobody wants to repair - we did our best to get ours fixed but ended up going back to good old fashioned curtains - not even a valance! - and it’s such a relief. Took a lot of phone calls to John Lewis, though.
Hard relate 🙌🏼 thank you for helping me feel less guilty about my days. Women are incredible ❤️
"Half an hour spent trying to save pigeon from a seagull outside lawyer’s office (don’t ask)" is my favourite. Helen Hanff just wrote letters, then they became a radio show, then a book. I really like Substack and this is such a great story. Thank you.
Thanks for sharing the reality of trying to do this thing.
This piece, especially the adult children bit, seems written just for me. Don’t you wish we could (when it’s available)send others a spare minute or two of our day and receive some when needed? It would be like crowdfunding for extra time.
I feel this in my bones.