I also have the internal narrator and aphantasia, late identification austistic and adhd diagnosis have allowed me to explore and understand my brain. It definitely hampers the creative flow now which I believe is the contribution of the hormonal impact of perimenopause. Executive dysfunction + demand avoidance + inertia = zero words making out my head and onto paper.
I can see settings when I'm reading/writing but the characters are blurry. I just kind of sense where they are rather than having a clear picture of what they look like.
I love this topic. I have an incredibly busy internal narrator as well as the ability to see images and scenes based on words spoken or on the page. Your response to the ladder moment would have been mine exactly, as well as your partner and my husband would've been the same as well. I've never been diagnosed with anything you've mentioned but see myself in many of your thoughts here. I can work on a painting all day...8-10 hours, without a break, without any sense of the passage of time, until I stand up my 63 yo body up of course. This is such a fascinating topic and would love to hear more in future posts, or books, too.
My favourite kind of topic! I have a relentless internal narrator AND I have aphantasia. I am also likely autistic and frankly a ridiculous number of my neural pathways – good and bad – seem to have those sheath things. Writing is thankfully one of them, which helps me to connect them all up and feel less overwhelmed by all the constant processing going on in my head. For me, drumming is also a great example of connecting multiple pathways for rare brain peace and joyful release. Would love to read more of your musings on this kind of subject 🧠🤓
Love this post Jojo! I’m a writer with aphantasia, only discovered a few years ago when I realised people actually DO have movies running inside their heads. I tend to sense things rather than see them, and probably rely on my other senses to convey a scene. I do have a very vocal inner voice doing a running commentary on my life and scrutinising my every move. Thank you for the reminder about creating neural pathways through habits. I need to get back to daily timed writing sessions!
Oh wow that's what it is! "Industrial-strength myelin sheaths all over my writing brain" - I worked as a magazine editor and journalist for 15 years or more and when I started writing books after a 10 year break from the publishing industry, I found it easy to sit and write for hours.
I couldn't understand how others found it difficult. Now I know why I can write and also why my husband also likes to find ridiculous solutions to DIY issues late at night while I break into a cold sweat. Thank you, it makes complete sense! x
Fascinating Jojo and exactly my kind of topic too. (I’d also be a psychotherapist if I couldn’t write). But… I don’t think I could write without my internal narrator. I use it to sort of sound out sentences before I commit them to the page. Do you not do that? Really interesting! (Or maybe I’m misunderstanding what an internal narrator is, or mine is different from yours and/or the person you mention in the post…)
I understood it to be a voice that was literally commenting on what was going on throughout the day. Interesting that you have one that helps your writing. And nice to see you here, Steve!
My friends and I have just had the same realizations about each other after 20+ years of friendship. One friend has an inner voice but no ability to see images. Another can visualize vague images has an inner voice but no inner critic. And then there’s me, the writer, who can imagine just about anything, including a hypercritical inner voice. It’s been eye opening to recognize this about one another and the way we each navigate the world. I also rely on my mind’s eye to write, and I’m currently fascinated by the idea of writing a character without an inner voice!
This was a fascinating read. I'm always astonished to hear that other people lack and internal narrator and/or cannot visualize things in their mind's eye. And I love the way the examples illustrate how the differences in how our brains work show up in how we relate to each other and different situations. Truly enlightening!
Love this. I studied psychology at uni and have always been fascinated by the workings of the mind and especially how much we don’t know.
40 years later, until recently I’d never knew some people didn’t have an internal narrator. Until my brother in law said he could just sit there on a flight from Australia. No internal dialogue at all.
PS ‘post its in a wind tunnel’ is fab, I’ll tell my son who always talked about his ADHD ‘cupboard head’ - that overwhelming feeling of chaos when you tidy up by stuffing everything into a cupboard. Then the door opens 🌪️
I'm a writer with an internal narrator and aphantasia. Like so many others, I never realized that when other people imagined things, they could actually see an image. This explained why I never got much from it when a yoga instructor would "lead us down a garden path, open the gate, walk to the ocean." Like more than half of people with aphantasia, I do see images when I dream. But I've tried all different ways to visualize voluntarily, and I can't do it - just black, the back of my eyelids. As for writing, however, I can tell you every detail something I know, my childhood home, a Parisian street, a person's face. It must be that another part of my brain takes over, because I have the memories intellectually, even though I can't see them. I had this conversation with a group recently. We compared notes, and one person reported that he could hear music when he remembered something. Brains!
Human brains (and humans) are fascinating! I've been thinking that we all live in our own version of the world due to our emotional and mental perception. That's billions of worlds! Some are friendly and full of kindness and some are cruel and full of deceit. And the fun part is we get to choose the world we want to live in.
This was a great read! Terribly relatable too, the ladder situation could've happened to my husband and me. It's like I'd already be exhausted thinking about the entire process of what he'd want to do - while I'm not even the one doing it. Also, as someone who suspects undiagnosed ADHD, the post-it notes in the windtunnel is a fantastic description.
Oh the forward looking brain…mine does this. It’s like a constant threat assessment process that’s running in there. I often wonder if it’s a trauma response or whether I’m just on the lookout for things that are about to stress me out. Regardless, it can be exhausting and does absolutely make it very difficult to be spontaneous.
I also have the internal narrator and aphantasia, late identification austistic and adhd diagnosis have allowed me to explore and understand my brain. It definitely hampers the creative flow now which I believe is the contribution of the hormonal impact of perimenopause. Executive dysfunction + demand avoidance + inertia = zero words making out my head and onto paper.
It’s all very interesting, while so debilitating.
I can see settings when I'm reading/writing but the characters are blurry. I just kind of sense where they are rather than having a clear picture of what they look like.
I love this topic. I have an incredibly busy internal narrator as well as the ability to see images and scenes based on words spoken or on the page. Your response to the ladder moment would have been mine exactly, as well as your partner and my husband would've been the same as well. I've never been diagnosed with anything you've mentioned but see myself in many of your thoughts here. I can work on a painting all day...8-10 hours, without a break, without any sense of the passage of time, until I stand up my 63 yo body up of course. This is such a fascinating topic and would love to hear more in future posts, or books, too.
My favourite kind of topic! I have a relentless internal narrator AND I have aphantasia. I am also likely autistic and frankly a ridiculous number of my neural pathways – good and bad – seem to have those sheath things. Writing is thankfully one of them, which helps me to connect them all up and feel less overwhelmed by all the constant processing going on in my head. For me, drumming is also a great example of connecting multiple pathways for rare brain peace and joyful release. Would love to read more of your musings on this kind of subject 🧠🤓
Love this post Jojo! I’m a writer with aphantasia, only discovered a few years ago when I realised people actually DO have movies running inside their heads. I tend to sense things rather than see them, and probably rely on my other senses to convey a scene. I do have a very vocal inner voice doing a running commentary on my life and scrutinising my every move. Thank you for the reminder about creating neural pathways through habits. I need to get back to daily timed writing sessions!
Oh wow that's what it is! "Industrial-strength myelin sheaths all over my writing brain" - I worked as a magazine editor and journalist for 15 years or more and when I started writing books after a 10 year break from the publishing industry, I found it easy to sit and write for hours.
I couldn't understand how others found it difficult. Now I know why I can write and also why my husband also likes to find ridiculous solutions to DIY issues late at night while I break into a cold sweat. Thank you, it makes complete sense! x
Fascinating Jojo and exactly my kind of topic too. (I’d also be a psychotherapist if I couldn’t write). But… I don’t think I could write without my internal narrator. I use it to sort of sound out sentences before I commit them to the page. Do you not do that? Really interesting! (Or maybe I’m misunderstanding what an internal narrator is, or mine is different from yours and/or the person you mention in the post…)
I understood it to be a voice that was literally commenting on what was going on throughout the day. Interesting that you have one that helps your writing. And nice to see you here, Steve!
❤️
My friends and I have just had the same realizations about each other after 20+ years of friendship. One friend has an inner voice but no ability to see images. Another can visualize vague images has an inner voice but no inner critic. And then there’s me, the writer, who can imagine just about anything, including a hypercritical inner voice. It’s been eye opening to recognize this about one another and the way we each navigate the world. I also rely on my mind’s eye to write, and I’m currently fascinated by the idea of writing a character without an inner voice!
This was a fascinating read. I'm always astonished to hear that other people lack and internal narrator and/or cannot visualize things in their mind's eye. And I love the way the examples illustrate how the differences in how our brains work show up in how we relate to each other and different situations. Truly enlightening!
Love this. I studied psychology at uni and have always been fascinated by the workings of the mind and especially how much we don’t know.
40 years later, until recently I’d never knew some people didn’t have an internal narrator. Until my brother in law said he could just sit there on a flight from Australia. No internal dialogue at all.
PS ‘post its in a wind tunnel’ is fab, I’ll tell my son who always talked about his ADHD ‘cupboard head’ - that overwhelming feeling of chaos when you tidy up by stuffing everything into a cupboard. Then the door opens 🌪️
I'm a writer with an internal narrator and aphantasia. Like so many others, I never realized that when other people imagined things, they could actually see an image. This explained why I never got much from it when a yoga instructor would "lead us down a garden path, open the gate, walk to the ocean." Like more than half of people with aphantasia, I do see images when I dream. But I've tried all different ways to visualize voluntarily, and I can't do it - just black, the back of my eyelids. As for writing, however, I can tell you every detail something I know, my childhood home, a Parisian street, a person's face. It must be that another part of my brain takes over, because I have the memories intellectually, even though I can't see them. I had this conversation with a group recently. We compared notes, and one person reported that he could hear music when he remembered something. Brains!
Human brains (and humans) are fascinating! I've been thinking that we all live in our own version of the world due to our emotional and mental perception. That's billions of worlds! Some are friendly and full of kindness and some are cruel and full of deceit. And the fun part is we get to choose the world we want to live in.
That was a fascinating read and made so much sense. I have sent a copy to hubby hoping it will help him understand our differences 🤪
I love this so much. It opened my eyes to how different everyone is because of the way their brains work.
This was a great read! Terribly relatable too, the ladder situation could've happened to my husband and me. It's like I'd already be exhausted thinking about the entire process of what he'd want to do - while I'm not even the one doing it. Also, as someone who suspects undiagnosed ADHD, the post-it notes in the windtunnel is a fantastic description.
Oh the forward looking brain…mine does this. It’s like a constant threat assessment process that’s running in there. I often wonder if it’s a trauma response or whether I’m just on the lookout for things that are about to stress me out. Regardless, it can be exhausting and does absolutely make it very difficult to be spontaneous.